Final Atonement
by regnum
Summary: V/B I’ll fight for my family. For the blue eyed onna who somehow, despite all the obstacles, managed to get under my skin and steal my heart. I’ll fight for my son, so he can at least have a father he can be proud of.


**Final Atonement**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z. This work is a product of my imagination.**

**A/N: What comes of watching Vegeta's sacrifice in the Buu saga? This fic of course! This is a POV on what was going through Vegeta's mind at the time.**

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_"Mou ichido dake omoidashite   
Nakinagara mo umare tsuita   
Kimi no yume ya asu e kibou   
Sou subete ga kono hoshi ni aru" – **A Song Is Born Hamasaki Ayumi and Keiko**_

Pain. 

Is this how I die? 

The black world closes around me and for the first time in years I feel a flicker of an emotion that I banished so long ago. I believe it is called 'fear'. 

I have never had to fear anyone in my life. My goal was always to be the strongest. I believed it was my destiny. Just like it should have been my destiny to free my people from Freeza's iron grip. I was supposed to be the legendary.

My people never lived to see their freedom. 

And I was not the first Super Saiya-jin. Instead, that honor goes to _Kakarott. A third class warrior has outstripped the Saiya-jin prince. My father would be turning in his grave._

If he had a grave, that is. 

I'm not even sure why I began this fight with Buu. Why am I trying so hard to protect this planet full of weaklings? Maybe it's because they are weak, and for the first time, I have a purpose. For the first time, I will be the hero. Kakarott be damned. I have my pride too. And I won't admit that I need his help. 

I'm sinking slowly into the darkness. This is one battle I can't win. 

But I sure as hell gave it my best shot. 

And maybe I've bought everyone else enough time. I'm not quite sure what they'll do with the time I've bought them, maybe get off this planet or something. Even that foolish woman isn't stupid enough to stay here.

I wouldn't want her to stay here, not with Buu in control. 

There. My weakness. It lies in those bright blue eyes. The eyes of my mate, the eyes of my child. I should keep fighting. I have to. No warrior goes quietly into death. 

I will fight. But I won't fight for the people on this planet. I won't fight for those who died on Vegeta-sei so long ago. I won't fight for the sake of fighting. Instead, I'll fight for my family. For the blue eyed onna who somehow, despite all the obstacles, managed to get under my skin and steal my heart. I'll fight for my son, so he can at least have a father he can be proud of. I'll even fight for Kakarott, who, in his own way, has been something more than a rival. Something more like a friend. 

I can hear voices. 

_"Clean out your ears and listen to me, Goten!" _

It's the brat. What the hell is he doing here? This is no place for a child, no matter his strength.

_"My kaa-san told me that my father used to be a prince over ALL the Saiya-jin! All of them! No prince is gonna get beat by a big blob like that Buu!"_

_"All the Saiya-jin?"_

Well, I hear wonder in the voice of the second son of Kakarott. I suppose that Kakarott's screeching harpy of a mate never mentioned my royal heritage. 

_"Yeah! My tou-san's the strongest in the world! He's gonna get up, you wait and see!" _

Strongest in the world? There was a time when those words would have meant something to me. Now, the only reason they have meaning is because they have come from the mouth of my son. 

His faith in me is…touching. 

I _have to get up. If I don't, the brat will stay here. Buu isn't dead, he isn't even badly injured. If Trunks stays here, he'll die. Goten too. _

Then _both those damned women will scream at me. _

I'm lying to myself again. I'll get up because I have to give it one last shot. I'll get up because with Kakarott and Gohan out of the picture I'm the only one who has a chance to defeating this monster. I'll get up to save my son's life.

This sacrifice is one that I have to make. It's the only way I can atone for all I've done. All the lives I've taken. If I can save the lives that count. Then I'll be happy.

I am the prince of the Saiya-jin. And I won't go quietly to death. 

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The teal-green eyes of a Super Saiya-jin.

He looks almost happy to see me. Do I really mean so much to him? I haven't been a real father. Then again, I never had really had a father. 

And now, my son won't have a father.

"Tou-san!" 

There are no hugs, but his face says it all. Yes, he is happy to see me, he's happy I'm alive. 

I don't know what I've done to deserve this. In essence, I have been nothing more than a murderer, a tool to be used at will. My entire purpose for living has been nothing more than a joke. 

But when I look into the eyes of my son, I know I've been given a gift more precious than anything in the world. Although I don't say it. I am proud of him. 

The climb to my feet is painful. But the pain is insignificant. I know what I have to do; I know my life ends here. It's the least I can do.

What of the woman? Even now I can sense her, it's uncanny, how I always know where she is. If she were here now, I'd apologize. And then yell at her for being so stupid. She's like that, my mate, stupidly brave. She yells at me – a Super Saiya-jin – when I could tear her to pieces with my bare hands. 

But she's _my mate. Mine and no one else's. She will always be mine, even in death. _

_I'm sorry, Bulma._

The blood from my cuts stings my eyes. The boys are still watching me, waiting for me to say something. I can sense Buu in the distance, and I know the boys can't stay here.

"Trunks," my voice grates harshly, "Take care of your mother for me." 

There. My weakness revealed to the world. Even if – for the moment – the world consists of only two incredibly powerful demi Saiya-jin boys. 

"What? Why do I have to take care of kaa-san? Are you going somewhere, tou-san?" 

He doesn't understand. How can he understand? He's nothing more than a boy. No, he's more than that; he's a Saiya-jin. That's the difference between him and one of those weak earthling children. 

"Just…take care of her, okay?" I give him what I hope is a glare. I do still have my pride.

But pride has to take a backseat for the moment. I will always regret that I cannot be a father to my son. "Trunks…I haven't held you since you were a baby, have I?" 

The boy looks confused, I can't blame him. Even I am not really sure where I'm going with this. All I know is that I don't want my son to remember me as a cold, heartless person. I don't want him to hate me when I'm gone. So, impulsively, I hug him. 

His voice floats upwards to my ears, muffled because he's speaking to my chest. "Aww…c'mon tou-san! You're embarrassing me!" 

I don't care. At least he'll be able to say that I embarrassed him. 

When I finally let him go I notice the slight blush on his face, "Now, get out of here."

His hair peaks up in golden spikes and his eyes mirror my own. Super Saiya-jin at his age. The brat has achieved more in his short existence than many will achieve in a lifetime. He glares back at me and I feel a tinge of amusement. He's stubborn, my son.

"What? You can't fight him all alone! I wanna help too!"

Stubborn and brave.

"Yeah! Me too! We'll gang up on him and beat him up!"

The naïve voice of Kakarott's youngest chimes in. Indeed, if only life were as simple as that. If only we could "gang up" on Buu and beat him up. These children don't see that this isn't a training session. This is life or death. 

Their lives, my death. 

They don't understand that it is impossible to beat the monster as things stand. In the end it comes down to either him or me. I can't let these children see my end. 

So I do the only sane thing. They may be Super Saiya-jin, but so am I, and it only takes one quick blow to knock both of them out. Their stiffly spiked hair falls back into place, returning respectively to their natural colours of black and purple. 

Time is running out, I can sense Buu closing the distance between us. 

"Piccolo."

The namek lands in front of me. I think he knows what I'm about to do. 

"Take the boys and get as far away from here as you can." For once, I am in charge. It's different. Today, I play the hero…and it's not a role that I necessarily want.

He accepts the request – no, order – without a word, and tucks a boy under each arm. 

Today I die. I wonder…will I see my father in the afterlife? I will have to face him then, I will have to accept my failure. The irony is that Kakarott will most likely be there, where he can rub his victory in my face as much as he wants. It seems I will never truly escape that baka. 

"Piccolo, tell me one thing, will I see that baka Kakarott in the afterlife?" 

He hesitates, "I won't lie to you, Vegeta. When Goku died, he was allowed to keep his body because of all the good deeds he had done in his lifetime. You, on the other hand, have committed many evil acts in your lifetime. You will not be allowed that privilege.

So be it. I nod my head slightly and he understands. In seconds, he is in the air, and the two boys are safe…for now. 

I see Buu, that inane expression on his face, standing in front of me. He has seen Piccolo leave. Damn. We're out of time. I have to do something, anything to distract that monster. I have to do it to save my son…and my friends.

"Your fight is with me! This time, I will destroy you!!" 

Buu's eyes narrow in anger and I feel him reach into that terrible, endless well of dark energy. A smirk crosses my face. Too late, monster. My ki crackles around me and the unearthly glow surrounds the area. 

The power. This is everything I've worked for, all my life. This power, this power is _mine. I am the Super Saiya-jin, I have the power and I am invincible. _

Even through the pain, I try to believe that. The power rushing through my body is almost too much, it consumes, eats me alive. How ironic that all I've worked for will be the very thing that spells my demise. Instead of darkness, there is light. Powerful, blinding light. 

_Bulma, I love you…_

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**A/N: Well, that was…interesting. I know some of the dialogue is wrong, but it's from memory so bear with me. I should have known better than to go into Vegeta's head like that. It's just not safe! Anyway, comments and criticisms please! Oh, here's a translation of the song snippet that began this little tale:**

_"Remember once more_

_How we were born crying_

_Your dreams and hopes for tomorrow_

_Yes, they're all here on this planet"_

© 05-06-2002

Abi


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